Resident Dumbass
by Seifer2
Summary: Two authors and the cast of final fantasy 7 end up in the mansion
1. escape

Cast of characters:  
  
Seifer-Author of this story  
  
Liquid- Author of the people vs. Steve Burnside  
  
And members of Final Fantasy 7  
  
  
  
"July of 2002". Seifer said as the S.T.A.R.S. Alpha team rode in the chopper. "A rash of bazaar murders had recently occurred in the small backwards city of Raccoon".  
  
"Are you telling the story again"? Liquid asked.  
  
"Not now"…. "Where was I"?… "Victims were apparently raped up the ass 3 times…then eaten".  
  
"You suck as a narrator".  
  
"Shut up Liquid"!  
  
"Look"! Tifa yelled.  
  
"Oh, my God"! Cloud yelled.  
  
"What"? Liquid asked. "I can't see because of these damn sunglasses"!  
  
"If you don't shut the fuck up, you Liquid foo"! Barret yelled. "I will kick your ass"!  
  
"Why you stupid Mr. T look alike"! "If I could see you, I would make you my bitch"!  
  
Seifer then pulled his gun, and everyone quieted down.  
  
Cloud then set the chopper down next to the bravo chopper.  
  
"Everyone out". Liquid said.  
  
"I think I'll stay here, and keep this thing warm in case of trouble". Cloud said.  
  
Liquid then dragged him out by his ankles, while Cloud began to scream like a little girl.  
  
"You're more of a girl than me" Tifa said.  
  
"Alright everyone let's look for clues let's see what took this bird down". Seifer said.  
  
"I think the engine failed, Sherlock". Liquid said.  
  
"You know I am about sick of your mouth so don't make me come over there and show everybody I can kick your ass".  
  
"If you were any closer you would be on the other side of me".  
  
"How the hell did you become the leader".  
  
"I killed the last one, so why don't you….".  
  
They were interrupted by the sound of a squirrel.  
  
50 squirrels suddenly attacked Cait Sith, who had been taking a shit.  
  
He came running where the S.T.A.R.S. were and was screaming get them off me get them of me for the love of god.  
  
Everyone fell over laughing until the squirrels finished with Cait Sith, and looked at them.  
  
"You guys stay here". Liquid said. "I'll go for help".  
  
Liquid then ran towards the mansion.  
  
"So do we wait here"? Cloud said.  
  
"RUN"! Seifer yelled.  
  
They fired at the squirrels as they followed Liquid.  
  
They then made it into the mansion, where Liquid was waiting.  
  
They had escaped into the mansion where they thought it was safe…yet… 


	2. the fight begins

"Well this is another fine mess that you got us into". Barret said.  
  
"What did I do"? Liquid asked.  
  
"Black clothes, short cool hair, sunglasses in the middle of the night". "You are obviously the bad guy".  
  
"How dare you"?  
  
"We don't know that Liquid is bad". Tifa said.  
  
"Do we have to have all this fighting"? Cloud asked.  
  
"Yes". Barret said. "Were gonna split up, and he's gonna kill us".  
  
They then heard the sound of a toilet flushing".  
  
"What was that"? Seifer asked.  
  
"Go check it out". Liquid said. "But don't take a weapon".  
  
Liquid then looked over at Cloud, who was pissing himself.  
  
"Sick"! Tifa said.  
  
"I am going to check out that noise to see what it was". " Barret, Cloud come with me". "Tifa can you stay here and keep an eye on Liquid"?  
  
"Is he gonna try anything"? Tifa asked.  
  
"Yes". Liquid replied.  
  
"Back off, you liquid asshole".  
  
Then Seifer, Cloud, and Barret went into the next room, and Liquid could hear Barret tripping over a chair.  
  
"Damnit"! Barret yelled as he opened fire on the chairs.  
  
"So". Liquid said. "It's just us"…. "It's kind of romantic in here".  
  
"Shut up, Liquid". Tifa said. "I will hurt you".  
  
"Promise"?  
  
"Just stay back".  
  
"No one has to know". "We can just sneak into one of the other rooms, and".  
  
She then punched him in the face.  
  
"Did you like that you sick twisted freak of a whore mongers bitch"? Tifa asked.  
  
"Hurt me more". Liquid said. "I like it rough".  
  
"Alright you asked for it".  
  
She then swung again, but Liquid sidestepped, and gave her a big kiss. She then kicked him in the stomach, punched him in the head, and round housed him to the floor. She then proceeded to try to stomp on his head. He then did a front flip up on his feet. Tifa then proceeded to punch at him with great fury. Liquid was doing his best to block the punches. But every so often she would land one.  
  
"You can't beat me". Liquid said.  
  
"Shut up chew on this".  
  
She then did a flip kick and nailed him right in the chin. He proceeded to get up. Even more angry she ran at him and did a flying jump kick right at his head. Liquid then dodged it. He got her in a hold she could not move.  
  
"You can't beat me you mine as well stop struggling." Liquid said  
  
"No one has ever beaten me before." Tifa said  
  
"I think I am in love" Tifa said  
  
"I have that kind of effect on girls"  
  
They then proceeded to leave the main hall. They went to the guest room of the mansion. Where a crazy person who liked dog food lived. 


	3. the threat

"Well Cloud, Barret shall we see what that noise was".  
  
The three then proceeded farther in the dining hall.  
  
"Damn those chairs annoy me". Barret said  
  
"Well maybe if you weren't such a big klutz". Cloud yelled.  
  
"If you don't shut the hell up I will pump you full of so many holes you will win the next Swiss cheese contest.  
  
"If you two don't stop fighting I will bust a cap in both of your Asses".  
  
They all just shut up and walked further down the dinning room. When they got the end they seen something on the floor.  
  
"Foos what is this". Barret said.  
  
"Holy shit theirs crumbs on the floor". Seifer said.  
  
"Something seems to have happened here". Cloud said.  
  
"Alright Cloud will you go check around the dinning room for any clues"."Barret you help Cloud look for clues".  
  
"What the fuck you going to do sit on your ass". Barret said.  
  
"No I am going to check out the other rooms because I have THIS". Seifer said.  
  
Barret and Cloud proceeded to check around the dinning hall looking for clues. While Seifer proceeded into the next room. Seifer went into the next room being very cautious.  
  
"Man I really don't like this place". He said to him self.  
  
He then heard a noise over to his left, so he then proceeded to go over there. He walked over there to see something on the floor. It was the most horrible thing he had ever seen.  
  
"Hi". a little girl scout said "would you like to buy some cookies".  
  
Scared out of his mine. He then pulled out his 357 Desert Eagle.  
  
"NO".  
  
He then proceeded to shoot the Girl Scout. The bullets were hitting but weren't even fazing her. So like the person he was he ran for the dinning hall.  
  
He ran into the dinning hall to see Barret had Cloud pined on the table saying whose my bitch. Seifer ran into the room yelling.  
  
"Barret there is something in this mansion". Seifer said.  
  
"What is it you Seifer Foo". Barret said.  
  
Then the door from the other room opened and Barret saw what Seifer was talking about. It was a Girl Scout.  
  
(Dramatic music plays)  
  
Then the three each shocked in there own way proceeded to something in their own unique way. Barret ran over and started to beat the shit out of the little girl. Cloud screamed like a little girl and ran under the table. Seifer pulled out his gun and proceeded to shoot the little girl again. After about two minutes of this the Girl Scout died. She fell on the floor with a amazingly loud thump.  
  
"Jesus Christ that Foo would not go down". Barret said.  
  
After the initial shock of what happened they calmed down. After a couple of minutes they looked under the table to see Cloud.  
  
"We killed it Cloud you can come out". Seifer said.  
  
"Yeah you Foo you can come out or I can make you come out". Barret said.  
  
"No I am not coming out and you can't make me". Cloud said.  
  
Then Barret pissed already from what happened proceeded to grab Cloud by that Foos spiky hair.  
  
***  
  
"Liquid"! Seifer yelled. "Tifa"!  
  
"Where did those foos go"? Barret asked.  
  
"Maybe the scouts got them". Cloud said.  
  
(Dramatic music is played)  
  
They then proceeded to look for any clues as to where they went. After a few minutes they meet to the right of the steps.  
  
"Alright I say we spilt up and look for them". Seifer said. "Barret you go check up stairs and Cloud you go back to the dinning hall. I will go left to see what's there.  
  
The three then went their separate ways. 


	4. the search begins

After the crew split up Seifer found him self in a little room with some art work. There was just one door straight ahead. He did not see any threats so he proceeded to go further into the room.  
  
"Man I hope I don't run into any more Girl Scouts". He says to himself  
  
He walked on tell he got to the door. He reached down to the handle wondering what was on the other side of this door. Sense he had to find the others he turned the handle. It was locked he couldn't get it open.  
  
"Son of a Bitch the damn door won't open". "I can fix that."  
  
He then proceeded to pull out his mag and aimed at the door.  
  
"Suck on this you bitch".  
  
He then started to blow holes in it the size of Liquid's ego.  
  
He then opened it, and slowly walked down the hall.  
  
Everything was going good, until 50 squirrels jumped through the window, and came after him.  
  
"Holy Shit". "Fuckers eat this".  
  
He then proceeded to pull out his mag and blow the shit out of them. After a few minutes of blood and gut's flying everywhere it was over. After the smoke cleared Seifer saw nothing but holes in the floor, walls, and there was enough blood for a person to swim through.  
  
"Well that was fun". "I think I am going to head back though".  
  
So Seifer headed out of that room and back finally into the main hall. He then went up the stairs of the main hall and through the door to the right. The room past the main hall was right above the dinning hall.  
  
"There doesn't appear to be anything in this room" He say's to him self.  
  
He then walked father down the hall. There was a door to his right. He went through the door. He looked straight ahead where there was a blind spot. Seifer carefully checked around the corner. He walked through and saw there was some stairs leading down. He went to the top of the stairs and looked down. He couldn't see anything but a floor and a window. He decided to head down the stairs as he walked down he could see a door right by the stairs. Past the door was another hallway. He decided to go into the door in the hall. As he walked closer to the door he heard a sudden crash. Seifer looked over just and time to see another 10 squirrels crash through the window.  
  
"Man I can't get away from you guys".  
  
Seifer then proceeded to pull out his mag and teach these squirrels a lesson. He shut the squirrels with no problem at all blowing there little guts all over the room again.  
  
"Well at least there easier then those damn Girl Scouts".  
  
Then after that quick battle he walked over to the door.  
  
"Let's hope there isn't any squirrels in here".  
  
He then turned the door handle and stepped into the room. To his surprise there was something else in that room. Something he never expected to see. 


	5. old friends

After the split up Barret went up the stairs and took a right and down to the second door. It lead to a short hall to another door. He opened the door and was on a patio outside.  
  
"Well this place sucks". Barret said.  
  
He could see a table turned upside down and some chairs scattered around.  
  
"I see that somebody hates chairs as much as I do". Barret said.  
  
Then he heard a noise over a little farther. He then went over to investigate what it was and some a figure standing by himself.  
  
"Who's there"? Barret yelled.  
  
Then the figure turned around and Barret saw a familiar face. It was Squall from Final Fantasy 8.  
  
"Hello, Clairece". Squall said.  
  
"Foo shut your fucking mouth you sick ass weird Foo". Barret replied.  
  
"I want to make you a man".  
  
"Foo you say one more thing and I will bust your ass down".  
  
"I have created something for my own personal pleasure".  
  
"Man what you be talking about"?  
  
Then Barret could see Squall pull out a whistle and blow in it. Then Barret could see out in the distance thousands of flying rabid pink flamingos.  
  
"Holy shit"! Barret yelled.  
  
"That's right in a few seconds these beautiful creatures will eat you alive". Squall said. "But isn't it nice"?  
  
Barret then proceeded to unload at the flamingos and run for the door. He then got chased out of the room and all the way across the main hall. Through the hall, above the dinning hall, through the other hall and down the stairs.  
  
"These damn Foos will not give up". Barret said as he kept firing.  
  
When he got downstairs he noticed that the flamingos had stayed up stairs. Apparently flamingos are scared of stairs.  
  
"Damn that was close". Barret said.  
  
Barret then went further down the hall and went through a door in to a hall with green wallpaper.  
  
"Kind of a different scenery from all that wood halls". Barret said.  
  
Then he took a right and walked further down. He noticed another room to his right and decided to go inside. It was what looked like a bedroom. It had a bookshelf and one bed. He noticed a desk with something on it. So he walked over and took a look at the desk. On top was a journal. So Barret picked it up and read it.  
  
"That was one crazy Foo over there killing a guy because he cheated and then ate him saying he taste like doggie food". Barret said to himself.  
  
Then all of sudden the closet door fell open before it was all the way open Barret already has his gun trained on the door to bust a cap on whoever or whatever popped out of that closet.  
  
The door came all the way open and there pooped out Liquid and Tifa. They were both in a sleeping bag.  
  
"Hello Barret". Liquid said.  
  
"Hey Barret". Tifa said.  
  
"You guys together man that's gross what's wrong with you Tifa"! Barret yelled.  
  
Then Liquid pulled up his pants and got out of the sleeping bag.  
  
"Tifa you just stay in there and look beautiful like you always do".  
  
` "Alright honey". Tifa said.  
  
Barret still in shock just stood there for a moment looking at Tifa's naked body in the sleeping bag.  
  
"Dude stop staring at my girl or I will kick your ass". Liquid said.  
  
"But I don't understand how you could do that Tifa". Barret said  
  
"Hey I am finally with the man I love"! Tifa yelled.  
  
"Hey Barret can I talk to you for a minute". Liquid said.  
  
Then Barret and Liquid walked out and started to talk.  
  
"Hey Barret why don't you go on ahead me and Tifa will leave later". Liquid said  
  
Barret then leaves and continues on with his journey to find the other stars members of the bravo team.  
  
"You ready to leave honey". Liquid said.  
  
"Yeah I just have to put some clothes on". Tifa said.  
  
They then proceeded to leave the room when Tifa was ready. 


	6. a new weapon

Cloud had set out back to the dinning hall. He didn't see anything dangerous. So he walked further down the room. Still cautious as ever not wanting to piss himself again he kept saying I think I can I think I can over and over again.  
  
"Man I don't want to be alone". Cloud said  
  
"I would kill for some company with me even if it is that creepy bastard Liquid".  
  
"Man fuck this shit I am going back to look for the others".  
  
Then Cloud proceeded to go back the way he came. Back in the main hall he decided to follow Barret because Seifer was too much of an asshole. He went up the stairs and to the left. He found himself above the dining room. He went all the way to the end of the balcony and went through the door. He noticed all of these pink bird feathers and wondered what they were. He proceeded to walk further down and found out what the feathers were from. There were thousands of pink flamingos.  
  
"Man what the hell are these birds doing here". Cloud said.  
  
Then the birds heard him speak and they all looked at him with this look that made him piss himself again. The look was a mix between a rabid bird and how a transsexual stripper would look at a new man. Cloud having only his sword at the time went in there and started to hack the birds. There was blood flying everywhere. And who knew Cloud had it in him to go on a killing spree.  
  
***  
  
Few hours earlier: Seifer was just done fighting some more squirrels when he decided to enter that room where he found something he did not expect to see ever in his life.  
  
"Hello their Seifer". Aeris said.  
  
"Aeris what are you doing in here". Seifer said.  
  
"I have been waiting for you".  
  
"Well I hope I haven't kept you long".  
  
"Not at all"  
  
Then the lights went out….  
  
***  
  
After all the birds were killed Cloud proceeded down stairs. He noticed all the blood and gun shot holes.  
  
"I must be getting close to the guys". Cloud said.  
  
Then he heard a noise in the room close to the stairs. He decided to go investigate even though he was scared out of his mind. When Cloud stepped in saw the love of his life with Seifer. They were in the bed in just one blanket.  
  
"Oh hey Cloud". Aeris said.  
  
"Aeris how could you I thought I was the love of your life". Cloud said.  
  
"Cloud I found somebody that is more of a man".  
  
"But Seifer"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"I can't take this anymore and Seifer what the fuck you grinning about".  
  
Seifer just stood there grinning and Cloud ran out of the room balling his eyes out.  
  
"I am going to kill that fucker but first I need a better weapon".  
  
So Cloud then ran off until he got to a room with a nice beautiful shotgun. He noticed that the room before was just empty but you needed to go through to get here. He then grabbed the shotgun.  
  
"I will kill that piece of shit Seifer".  
  
He then ran back out of the room and ran for the door. But to his surprise it was locked then the ceiling stared to come down. It was going to crush him. So Cloud did the only thing he did best. He started to scream like a little girl. He then heard somebody coming…..  
  
***  
  
Liquid had just got out of that room with Tifa. They decided to travel together. They ended up going back into the main hall. They took a right and went past what used to be a door until Seifer got a hold of it. They swam through the blood of 500 squirrels. They went through the door at the end. Then they heard some screaming and decided to check it out. They went running towards the noise. When they got there they realized it was Cloud.  
  
"Anybody help me"! Cloud screamed.  
  
Liquid then proceeded to open the door and saw Cloud there with a shotgun and his pant's were wet again.  
  
"What"? Liquid said.  
  
"Liquid, thank God"! Cloud yelled.  
  
"Oh a shotgun thanks dude".  
  
Then Liquid just shut the door on Cloud after he grabbed the shotgun.  
  
"Let's go Tifa". Liquid said.  
  
"That freak is finally going to die"! Tifa yelled.  
  
They walked away as they heard a loud thump and they knew that Cloud was finally dead. 


	7. the snake

Seifer had decided it was best to find a way out of here. So he went and turned on the lights. He noticed Aeris lying on the bed and wished to get her out of here so she could be safe again.  
  
"We should go Aeris". Seifer said.  
  
"All right but I really don't want to get out of this bed". Aeris said.  
  
"I know but we have to find a way out of here and find the others".  
  
"Then let's go".  
  
Seifer and Aeris left the room and went back up the stairs. They went back to the main hall and decided to check the other side of the hall. They went through the door and noticed it was another hall.  
  
"Man the decorator of this hall had an obsession with halls".  
  
Then they heard a noise coming their way. Seifer pulled out his desert eagle. Then Aeris pulled out some automatic pistols out of her dress.  
  
"Where did you get those"?  
  
"Oh I found them in that room".  
  
Then they seen what was coming it was another girl scout. She saw them then proceeded to get closer.  
  
"Want to buy some cookies"? Girl Scout said.  
  
Before Seifer could say anything Aeris was blowing holes in the Girl Scout. Seifer then proceeded to shoot the horrible creature. After about a few minutes she fell down.  
  
"Well that is one more down". Seifer said.  
  
"Yeah I love a good killing". Aeris said.  
  
They then proceeded to check out the Girl Scout. Upon inspection Seifer noticed that she looked different then the one before. She seemed to be around longer then the other. Seifer then knelt down closer to the creature.  
  
"Man what the hells wrong with these people"?  
  
Then the Girl Scout opened her eyes and grabbed Seifer by the foot. And proceeded to try an infect Seifer with her infectious cookies.  
  
"Piece of shit suck on this". Seifer said.  
  
Seifer then pointed the gun at her head and fired. The bullet had made her head explode. Pieces of her skull and brain matter went all over the place.  
  
"Well that was close". Aeris said.  
  
They then walked further down to the first door and went through the door. They went around the corner and there was Cid lying on the ground. Seifer and Aeris rushed over to check him out he was still alive but Seifer knew not for long.  
  
"Look what they have done to me". Cid said. "They have tied my fucking shoelaces together so I can not move".  
  
"That is what is keeping you here". Seifer said.  
  
"Help me". Cid said.  
  
"We'll help you". Aeris said.  
  
They went to his shoes and saw that there was nothing they could do to help the guy it was a double knot and everybody knows you can't get a double knot out.  
  
"I don't know if we can help you Cid". Aeris said.  
  
Then they heard a door open up. The footsteps were getting closer. Then Liquid and Tifa came around the corner.  
  
"Thank god it is you guys". Aeris yelled.  
  
"Liquid you have to help Cid". Seifer said.  
  
"Alright I will help the guy out". "Tifa you stay here and watch Cid, Seifer and Aeris proceed to the next room" Liquid said.  
  
"What are you going to do"? Seifer asked.  
  
"I will find some Sulfuric Acid". Liquid said.  
  
Then Liquid ran off the way he came and Seifer and Aeris went ahead. Seifer and Aeris went into the next room and up the little stairs.  
  
"Well I wonder what's through this door"? Seifer asked. "Shall we see"?  
  
Seifer and Aeris went through the door. It led to what appeared to be an attic. As they walked further down they heard a rumbling and saw a huge creature.  
  
"Shit that is the biggest GUMMY WORM I have ever seen".  
  
Then Aeris and Seifer proceeded to shoot at the gummy worm.  
  
"It's not doing anything"! Aeris yelled.  
  
Then the gummy worm looked at Aeris and opened its mouth and swallowed her. Then Seifer went into a mad rage and ran towards the worm just firing at the beast.  
  
"I will kill you fucker"! Seifer yelled.  
  
"Don't worry I can get out of here".  
  
Then Aeris did something Seifer did not expect she pulled out the greatest weapon against gummy worms. It was a spoon. Then Aeris began to eat it. She found it mighty tasty. The worm was dead. Aeris came out and they looked at each other and then left the room.  
  
"Let's go check on Cid". Aeris said.  
  
They went back into the room and saw Liquid holding a empty bottle of Acid. They looked down to see Cid melted.  
  
"I tripped". Liquid said.  
  
"That's ok I never liked the guy". Seifer said.  
  
Then Liquid and Tifa decided to leave the room followed by Seifer and Aeris. When they came out they went there separate way's to look for that idiot Barret. 


	8. the guardhouse

Barret had just left Tifa and Liquid in that room. He decided it was a good idea to try and find a way out of here ahead of these guys.  
  
"Let's see where to go from here". Barret said.  
  
Barret decided to go back to the main hall. He went right but not to the door with that crazy foo Squall. He went into the room and went past the first door. Then he found a green door.  
  
"Well this is interesting". Barret said.  
  
Barret then opened up the door and looked inside. He noticed two statues.  
  
"Nothing dangerous here". Barret said.  
  
Then Barret went inside further and saw a button on the floor.  
  
"Whoa a button cool". Barret said. "I love buttons".  
  
Then Barret pressed the button when he did gas started to leak out.  
  
"What the fuck"? Barret said.  
  
Barret then proceeded to the door. He grabbed the handle but the door was locked.  
  
"Well I can fix this". Barret said.  
  
He then started to fire at the door. Blowing holes in it all over the place. There was woodchips flying everywhere. Then the door came crashing down.  
  
"Well I showed it whose boss". Barret said.  
  
He then walked further down until he got to the next door. He opened it and saw another Girl Scout coming his way.  
  
"Shit"! Barret yelled.  
  
"Bye some cookies or I will kick your ass bitch". Girl Scout said.  
  
"Well I better buy some cookies". Barret said.  
  
Then the Girl Scout tried to infect Barret by lunging at him.  
  
"Shit eat this"! Barret yelled.  
  
Barret then proceeded to blow holes in the little girl. Until she fell over dead. Barret then stepped over the dead mangled Girl Scout. He went down the stairs. He went down the hall and through the door. He came to another hallway. He noticed another door and went through. There was a bunch of art and feathers everywhere. He looked up and saw 100s of Pink Flamingos sitting of a railing.  
  
"Well I am just going to leave". Barret said.  
  
Then the Flamingos came flying at him. Barret then proceeded to open fire.  
  
"You want some you fuckers".  
  
Barret kept firing until they were all dead. Then he left that room and noticed a door hidden. He went through the door. He was outside he found a way out.  
  
"Well it's about time I get out of here". Barret said.  
  
He then proceeded to go further on he went through the door. It lead to a garden. Then he just followed the path until he got to a building. It looked like a guardhouse. He went inside the building. He went inside the door in front of him. In side was what appeared to be a lounge area. Then he heard something above him. He looked up.  
  
"Man that is the biggest rubber ducky I have ever seen"! Barret yelled.  
  
Then the rubber ducky dropped down and came towards Barret. Barret opened fire on the rubber ducky. The rubber ducky was not going down. Barret just kept at it holding it back. Finally it went down. Then when it died it released a bunch of little rubber duckeys.  
  
"Man fuck this shit"! Barret yelled.  
  
Barret then ran out the door. He went down the other hallway. Into another room it was a room for the guards. He went further into the room and noticed a ladder in the room.  
  
"I wonder where this leads". Barret said.  
  
Barret went down the ladder and noticed it was a underwater research facility. He went down and noticed the only room was flooded. He went in anyways.  
  
"Damn what happened down here"? Barret said to himself.  
  
Then he heard something in the water. He looked over an saw a ill tempered mutated sea bass.  
  
"Man can't I get away from these things". Barret said.  
  
Not wasting any time Barret opened fire on the sea bass. It only took a few bullets to kill it.  
  
"Well that was too easy". Barret said.  
  
Then he saw there were a thousand more coming backed by a extremely large one.  
  
"Well fuck this I'm leaving".  
  
Barret then went out that door and back up the ladder.  
  
"I am getting out of this fucking place". Barret said.  
  
He went out of that room and back into the hall. He heard some gunshots and Barret ran around the corner to see…. 


	9. the traitor

Liquid and Tifa had just left the room with Cid. They all decided to travel together to find Barret. They further down the hall and down the stairs. They ended up outside they knew they were close because they could smell Barret's cheap after-shave.  
  
"We must be getting close". Seifer said.  
  
"Well aren't we a fucking genius". Liquid said.  
  
"Shut up you two or I will kick both of your asses". Aeris said.  
  
"You will have to get through me Bitch". Tifa said.  
  
Aeris and Tifa just stood there for a minute then they all continued. They ended up in the garden.  
  
"Why don't Liquid continue on through this" "The rest of us will stay here and look for clues" Seifer said.  
  
"Well I guess I am the only one brave enough to continue". Liquid said.  
  
"Just go Liquid". Aeris said.  
  
Liquid then continued through the maze. And Seifer and the others went looking around for clues.  
  
***  
  
Liquid continued on leaving everybody else. He continued on through the garden and could see bullet holes everywhere.  
  
"That's Barret for you". "He can't hit shit". Liquid said.  
  
Then he continued on until he got to this building. At the entrance was a few surprises there were 500,000 squirrels.  
  
"Well aint this just peachy". "Chew electric death, you snarling currs"! Liquid yelled.  
  
He then took out his shotgun and proceeded to shot at the squirrels. They were running at him fast. Then a few went on the wall.  
  
"Being sneaky huh" "That won't help you"  
  
Then he fired at the squirrels at the wall and blew them to pieces. They were getting closer to him he wasn't holding them back. Then a few lunged at him. They were met with a blast to the gut.  
  
"Did you like that"?  
  
That was the last of them. He walked through all the smoke and went through the door to the guardhouse.  
  
"Well that was easy" Liquid said.  
  
Then he heard a big gulf come running his way.  
  
***  
  
Barret was running form that room. He heard gunshots and came running thinking it was going to be the others. He ran around the corner and saw… Liquid.  
  
"Liquid what are you doing here"? Barret asked.  
  
"I have been looking for you Barret". Liquid said.  
  
"What for"?  
  
"You know something don't you Barret"  
  
"About what"?  
  
"You know what happens to you from here don't you Barret"  
  
Then Liquid pulled out his shotgun and shot Barret in the chest. Barret went flying backwards and slammed into the wall. Barret fell down and didn't move.  
  
"Well that leaves two more".  
  
***  
  
Seifer and everybody were not finding much of anything. They had been looking around for a while.  
  
"I wonder where that sweet man is"? Tifa asked.  
  
"You mean that creepy bastard". Aeris said.  
  
Then they saw Liquid appear.  
  
"Liquid your okay"! Tifa yelled.  
  
"What happened"? Seifer asked.  
  
"I couldn't find Barret". Liquid explained.  
  
"Well shall we continue looking for clues". Seifer said.  
  
"You guy's have been looking sense I have been gone and never checked the waterfall". "It's obvious it's behind the waterfall" "That is the way out of here".  
  
"Well then shall we go"? Seifer asked.  
  
They all walked behind the waterfall and sure enough there was a ladder leading down.  
  
"How did you know that"? Seifer asked.  
  
"It's fucking common sense it's always behind the waterfall". Liquid said.  
  
So they all went down the ladder into what seemed like a underground passage. 


End file.
